I am Vlagneforf.But for now let's just call me Vlag.I am a three year old black labrador.In dog years,twenty-one.I ditched my owner a couple days ago.I hope he doesn't catch me.I get put in a tiny box all day.He called it a crate.I call it a tiny,plastic,little box.I ran away plenty of times before,but he always caught me.
I think I'm gonna make it.I'm doing better than I ever have.If he catches me,I'll always get walked instead of running around in his yard.I hate getting walked.
I'm not the kind of dog you consider bad.I just want to
have a little freedom.People think they are so great.They think they can treat dogs like
idiots.People respect cats.Cats get to run free,and get affection.I hate them.
If I had three wishes,they would be to get rid of all cats,make people respect dogs,and
to get a can of beef every day.I am very far away from reaching any of those dreams.
People have the nerve to call dogs a man's best friend !They don't treat us like friends!
That's why I'm running away.
Right now,I'm chasing a cat.Well,It's more of a kitten.
It is hard catching cats because they can climb and jump so well.
Most cats get away.But not this one!It jumped up onto somebody's
barbeque table.The people were looking at it.Then I knew I had lost.
I can't knock down a table with people around.People do horrible things to stray dogs.
They looked at me.They saw my collar that I never had time to remove.As soon as one of them started to walk towards me,I charged off.If I hadn't,I would be as
good as dead.
I wanted rest.I can't just rest out in the open.I was searching for a nice, secretive place
to sleep.I walked along and looked around.I saw a cat on a window sill staring at me.
I shouted,"what're you lookin' at!?"
People call my language barking.I call it talking.I walked and looked around more.
I saw nothing unusual:people,their houses,people,people, and even more people.
People are overpopulated.I walked and walked and walked and walked for what seemed like days.Eventually I smelled forest.I smelled trees,plants,animals,water, and mud all
mixed together in such a way that it smells...Great!I ran ahead.I walked a few miles into the woods before stopping at a cozy river-side damp spot.I slept.
I awoke with an unpleasant feeling:hunger.I hadn't eaten at all yesterday.
I searched along the riverside for anything edible.All I found was some
grass.I was hungry enough to eat mushrooms.I HATE mushrooms.
I couldn't survive on grass.So I turned back and headed for the way I came.
I was panting.That is what dogs do when they are frying in the hot summer sun.
The trees' shade wasn't good enough protection.But,I'm not gonna die.
I walked.I ran every now and then.I finally got back to human civilization.
I was really hungry.Hungry enough to steal.That is what I did.
I walked around the streets until finally,a little girl opened the door to her
house.I instantly did a huge run jump over her.She turned around and stared at me.
I found the kitchen and grabbed some dog food(which they happened to have).
I heard a bark.I saw a woman and the girl.Then I saw a huge,vicious, rotwiler.
I ran for it.I still had the dog food(pedigree).Let's call the rottweiler Rotter for now.
Rotter was after me.I was a cat,it was the dog.I had to outwit it,or die.
I jumped fences,swerved around houses,and knocked aside all sorts of obstacles.
Rotter always caught up.I suddenly made a mistake:running into a dead end.
Rotter bit my neck hard.I struggled out of his deadly hold and tackled him.
I bit at his feet.He shook me off and clawed my left rear leg.He drew blood.
I struggled and struggled,but he kept winning.When I thought it was over,
a noble looking golden retreiver came into the scene.He pulled Rotter away from
me,clawed,bit,wrestled and growled until Rotter sprinted off with great haste.
I looked up at him and cowered.He said,"I mean no harm."
I got up and questioned,"why did you save me?"
He replied,"I can't just let you die."
"why?"
"You looked helpless."
I hesitated before asking,"Are you by any chance running away?"
"Yes."
He scratched himself,"Have you ever heard of-"
I said,"hey,I forgot to introduce myself!"
"I am Vlagneforf.You can call me Vlag."
"Ok,Vlag.I am Rex."
"Rex?"
"That is the most common dog name ever!"
"I know..."
"As I was saying,have you ever heard of the elimination chamber?"
"no."
"People take dogs and cats to a huge elimination chamber and lock them up
for a few days."
"That's awful!"
"That is only the start."
"After the long inprisonment,they bring you to a room and
they...they...they kill you!"
"WHAT?!"
"THAT IS PURE EVIL!"
"I know.I was brought there.I managed a quick escape."
"That was not too long ago."
"Killing stray dogs for no reason!?"
"yes.It is...quite evil. They claim it's to prevent disease spread."
Rex travelled with me.I enjoyed his company.I
wondered how I was going to get food once the bag of
Pedigree ran out.I can't just steal food.I would get caught.
One night I discussed it with Rex.
I asked,"How are we going to get food once this bag is empty?"
He laughed."Easy!Just eat garbage!"
"Disgusting!"
"I mean it!"
"Just try it."
The day came.I found a garbage can.I
stuck my head in.It reeked!I saw a half rotten banana.
I took a big bite.Rex said,"It wasn't that bad,was it!"
I agreed,"I'll survive."
From that day on,I ate trash.
I wondered why people are so cruel to dogs.
They hug us like treasures,then toss us away like trash.I once
thought humans were nice.That was before I thought about it.
Humans are strange.Some kill us,some hug us,some spoil us,
some torture and abuse us,and others ignore us.I wish I understood people better.
Cats are different.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NintendoThey constantly seek pleasure.Humans are so amused by cats
that they grant them freedom.Cats are self-centered.They get to climb,play,
tease dogs, and eat, whenever they want.Cats aren't loyal.Humans are loyal to them.Dogs are loyal,yet,people don't give them the affection they give cats.
Dogs work hard and obey their masters just to end up getting locked up,beaten,yelled at, and killed.Dogs try to be loyal to their owners.But it doesn't work.Maybe loyalty isn't what humans seek.Maybe the cats have a better offer.Maybe humans are so filthy they
don't care if someone is loyal as long as they are amusing.
I think people consider us inferior.They don't exactly treat cahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendots like gods.
They just treat cats way better than dogs.They just keep us alive so the few people who do care about dogs don't get angry.Dogs are just for protection.I think that dogs
are the only animals who really care about dogs.
Autumn came.Leaves fell,trees died.I could tell that it was going to be a harsh winter.
If I searched a mile around,not one leaf would be found.The city was dead.
Most winters weren't this cold.I asked Rex,"Where should we go during this winter?"
"South."
"Migration?"
"Yes."
The next day a huge wind storm came.We struggled to keep ourselves from
flying away.We began the migration.Just for entertainment,I liked to let the wind carry me
about two feet when it was going south.Rex didn't like the idea.
"You can seriously injure yourself like that."
I didn't care,"haha!You're just scared!"
We kept walking.We rested when we were tired.We ate when we were hungry.
We drank when we were thirsty.We walked,well,all the time.
Two weeks later...
We were there.Free from the incredibly outrageous autumn weather in virginia.
We ran from Virginia to Brazil in a few weeks.Brazil...
It was full of maniacs.I walked through the streets.After one hour,I had seen about ten people getting robbed,four dead guys,one injured dude,and tons of people beating the pulp out of eachother.
This was Brasil and all,but it was a bit chaotic.I asked Rex,"Isn't this a bit chaotic?"
"No,no..."
He waited for a second.
"This is common Brasilian behavior."
"Yeah,but...but...This is complete madness!"
"I know.Brasilians are crazy."
I had to disagree with Rex for the first time.I knew people treated eachother like crap,but
they were acting like cavemen!I decided to help.I saw a skinny,short,bald man getting attacked by
another skinny,short,bald man.Brasilians all look the same..
I bit the guy who was kicking the other guy all over.He said,
"Puta que pariu"
To me that meant,"yakadakayattarattablahblahblah!"
To my amazement, the guy who I saved started
beating the shit out of the guy I bit.I ran off.
I later said to Rex,"Brasil sucks!"
"what did I tell you?Brasilians are mad."
We found a dead man's mansion and we stayed there for a while.